Metallic Faith Malarkey


When I’m not learning how to write my name in Elvish, I’m being utterly perplexed by my fellow citizens.

In data extrapolated from the 2011 UK census¬†results, it would appear that 6,242 of Britons declared ¬†Heavy Metal as their religion (for the record, that’s more respondents than self-identified as a Scientologist, Druid or Shaman).

To which one can only remark “Huh?”

I love a bit of Maiden as much as the next middle-aged, dog-walking vegetarian but can’t quite get behind the notion of aligning my musical genre of choice with organised faith – the goals of one seem quite at odds with the professed beliefs of the other, surely?

Obviously this result should probably be taken in the spirit of the kind of lightly subversive, nose-thumbing surrealism that I suspect it to be (note the high ranking of ‘Jedi Knight‘ as a faith of choice in the UK census, even after the quality of the “Star Wars” prequels should have killed aligning oneself to Uncle George’s franchise outright).

So, if I’m reading all of this correctly, the proper conclusion to draw from this census is that agencies of social control (which we normally oppose with all-consuming fervour) are a very bad idea until they provide you with the opportunity to make a snarky response to a survey.


2 Replies to “Metallic Faith Malarkey”

    1. I just love the idea of real ale-loving, battle jacket sporting, dyed-in-the-wool metal heads feeling so much kinship for their music that they regard it as indivisible from the rest of their lives.

      We talk about the idea of music tribes so often when discussing popular culture and society – what better example could you have of that idea than the result of this survey?

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